These are the things I'd be better without,

to borrow a bit from Dottie Parker. For me these things are:

This shit starts my night, and gets me amped and fidgety before actual inebriation, and then the higher than beer alcohol percentage (6%) gets to work on that getting me drunk part. Plus it tastes like liquid Smarties. I love Smarties. One time in college I ate a 5 pound bag of them my 'rents gave me as a funny gift. I ate them for breakfast with coffee, ask wifey, she remembers that shit. She thought I was batshit haha! I digress.

Shots of whiskey (normally I don't care which type, and most of the time I don't even necessarily care if it's whiskey, I mean I'll drink jager, soco and lime, or something someone left on a table before I got there. I'm not too picky) will finish of that job of getting me silly. Usually it's preceded by a round of "Nooo! No Krissy!"s from all my friends, of course, to no avail. At which point, I will laugh at them probably call them pussies and take the shot. Then rinse and repeat.

And the final thing in the Krissy bad idea normal weekend night trifecta,

Ok, that's pretty severe, but you get the idea. And actually now with my track record, it's actually getting paa-RITTY darn close. I like to make friends, and if it's a dude in a band in the basement of Lit, WELL thems the breaks. I'm sick of guys in bands. I'm even more sick of saying I'm sick of them, because I'm lying thru my damned teeth and I can't even fool myself. Hmph. I'm going to get a Sparks and listen to the Church.

Also, I'm better off without eating @ like 5 AM, because for real I'm not even gonna remember what anything tasted like, and I'll prolly wake up with most of the hummus on my jeans. It's too bad Bunnycam is in the hospital cos it was a doooozy last night, as per usual with whore, and I'm venturing out into Long Island City tonite wow.